best friends

"Maybe one of the hard things is to convince some of our Jewish friends that Evangelicals are the best friends they've got - because I think generally, that's the case." Appearing on the Christian Broadcasting Network, retired pea-picker Mike Huckabee yesterday made the case that American Jews were just not Jewey enough. "One of the things I find most interesting," Huckabee told host Chris Mitchell, "is that generally Evangelicals are so much more supportive of Israel than the American Jewish community. I mean, by and large, we really love us some Jews. Most people don't know that, but it's a fact." Huckabee took pains to point out that the Jews that Evangelicals liked the best were Jews that stayed in Israel. "That's where all the good authentic Jews are. My mama used to say that you don't order fried chicken in a Chinese restaurant, and for years I wondered what she meant. But then when I got older and saw a little more of the world, I visited a Chinese restaurant and found out that what she told me was quite literally true. And that's the way it is with Jews." "Years ago, Jackie Mason came to Arkansas for a Performing Arts festival in Little Rock and it caused quite a scandal. For one thing, he couldn't play the banjo. And he told all these stories, very off color. But we didn't know that at the time, because he used a lot of words that we didn't understand. Yiddish words. The festival was cancelled right after his performance, and the organizers were run out of town." "My point is that most Evangelicals don't even realize that the people that live in Israel are Jews. We call them Israelites, which is much more accurate, and we support them whole-heartedly because until they fulfill their destiny, you can just forget about any Second Coming." "The American Jewish community, well, the name says it all. It's the difference between Barney Frank and Jesus Christ. They're slackers. They're in America, not over in Israel where they can help fulfill Biblical prophesy. That's why we act a little hostile to them sometimes. It's nothing personal, they need to get with the program, that's all."