The Thinker

Tom Ridge feels his personal threat level moving up to orange Hey boys and girls, guess who's got a new tell-all book coming out in September? You're right, it's one of those guys in the picture. The one who's not French. And while it's doubtful that he tells all, Tom Ridge, the first ever director of Homeland Security, apparently does tell enough to make one wonder why he wasn't hated earlier, stronger, and more vociferously. The good news is that we can now despise him fully in retrospect. The book is titled 'The Test of Our Times: America Under Siege...and How We Can Be Safe Again', and it's intended to shake up our "public complacency" about security by telling us that he never knew what the fuck was going on and even if he did, he was powerless to do anything about it. Of special interest is the tidbit about how he was pressured to raise the security threat level right before the 2004 presidential election. Tom wants you to know that he thought this was wrong. He thought this move was politically motivated. Good thinking, Tom! I'll bet you that when the book come out, we'll find out that he even thought about speaking out. You never can tell what might cross a thinking man's mind. Now you might wonder why Ridge thought these things rather than knew them. Good question, but one with an easy answer. He didn't know because as director of Homeland Security, he was never allowed to attend the National Security Council meetings. He must have thought that was weird. A little late and a little counterintuitive for you to be telling us how we can be safe again, Tom, particularly when we now know that your true expertise didn't go much further than making colorful PowerPoint charts. But thank you for revealing what a midget of a man you really were. That's something for you to think about.