Thursday, June 16, 2011

Newt in thrall

Callista shows Newt where she wants him to move the piano
Newt Gingrich has demanded that NBC apologize to his third wife Callista for reporting things about their campaign that really hurt her feelings.
"I think the program [sic] this morning was totally irresponsible, and personally reprehensible," Gingrich told FOX News, "and the kind of thing that makes it hard to get decent people to run for public office. Just look at the current field, as an example. When you have these kinds of vicious attacks, you have a hard time getting anyone to run except for scumbags like me."
The report by Michael Isikoff details some of Callista's behavior which has helped give Newt's campaign the laughing stock status that it currently has, not that it wasn't completely ludicrous from the very beginning. One of the major obsessions of Callista is the constant promotion of the documentaries that she and Newt co-produce and co-star in. So important is it that citizens get to see such opuses as 'Rediscovering God in America' that Callista insists that campaign stops include a screening of one of their videos, after which they sell DVD copies in the lobby. Recently before a campaign stop in South Carolina Newt's staff refused to schedule a screening, an action Callista found so egregious that she insisted the couple fly back to DC and go to the opera instead. The impeccably groomed Madam Gingrich also refused to allow any early morning campaign events so that she would have plenty of time to get her hair done, but it was her insistence on taking a Greek cruise a couple of days after Newt's official campaign kickoff that finally led his staff to desert en masse.
"These were supposed to be professionals who we were paying, who supposedly had some sense of confidentiality, and who promptly did some back-stabbing in a way that I just found amazing," said gracious grinch Gingrich of his departed staff. "Would you call that professional? I certainly wouldn't. They should man up and take Callista's shit just like I do, because Callista's shit smells sweeter than roses."
"Callista and I have a very similar relationship to Nancy and Ronnie Reagan," Gingrich continued. "We're almost exactly like them in oh so many ways. As a matter of fact, she used to have me dress up like Ronald Reagan, which I thoroughly enjoyed once the hair and makeup was finished. You could really look at it as a promotion for me, because earlier on she would just have me dress up as a maid and paint her toenails. That wasn't too bad but I felt the Reagan outfit lent me more dignity, particularly when she would have her friends over... Nowadays she has me dress up as a serious presidential candidate and... What's that, honey? ...Oh nothing, just talking to a reporter... My pleasure, Callista, I'll be right in to draw your bath."

1 comment:

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