Creeping Reaganism

The House reached rare bipartisan consensus last night when Democrats showed a little unity by helping the GOP pass a bill 317-19 creating the Ronald Reagan Centennial Commission. The commission, which will be given an initial $1,000,000 in 'walking around money'*, will be tasked "to set up events to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Great Communicator's 1911 birth." "It's appropriate to honor the man with a special day," said emotionally overwrought House Minority Leader John Boehner, his eyes welling up with tears of joy. "Not only is he the Grandfather of his country, first and foremost he is the proud father of the born-again Republican Party. When Papa Reagan fucked America, she became pregnant with the new conservative movement, which she birthed across the land, where we have grown and prospered, ruled but never followed, and where we shall lead again one day!" Passage of the bill quickly set Republican heart's aflutter, and there is already talk of making Reagan's birthday a national holiday rather than a one-time celebration - and with talk of a 2010 GOP sweep in the air, that day of victory may could be close at hand. Another topic gaining currency is the long-delayed dream of the Reagan dime, a move which would force FDR off off the ten-cent piece and onto the penny where he belongs. "Those guys sure do love their Gipper," chuckled Boener's Democratic counterpart Steny Hoyer. "It would be kind of endearing if it wasn't so creepy."