Saturday, March 21, 2009

the Leno fallout

source pic here

"Hey Bobby, you in here listenin to El Rushbo? What the heck's he goin on bout today?"

"What's the matter, Bartholomew, having trouble hearing the show out in the garage?"

"C'mon, Bobby, you know we're trying to get the timin fixed on Mr. Eddy's Mercedes. And if we can't get that motor pitched to go from a whisper to a scream in half a footstep, that man'll beat the livin tar out of us."

"Maybe he does get a little violent, Bart, but other than the thrashings, Mr. Eddy is a damn good customer, so make it perfect for him. Remember, last time he gave you a C-note. He gets that fucking car of his tuned up twice a month, practically keeps us in business."

"Well... So what was Rush talkin bout anyhow? I could hear ya in here laughin your fool head off."

"Ah, shit, you probably had to hear it for yourself... You heard about Barack Obama going on the Leno show a couple nights ago, right? It seems that Jay asked him about the bowling alley in the White House..."

"Sonuvabitch, they got a goddang bowlin alley in the fuckin White House? When did that shit go down? What the hell they doin puttin a fuckin bowlin alley in the White House in the middle of a goddam depression? I'll bet old Rush ripped Obama a new asshole... Motherfucker should be impeached."

"Now hold on a second, Bart. To be fair about it, Obama didn't put the bowling alley in the White House. That sucker was built a long time ago for old Tricky Dick Nixon."

"Fuckin crook."

"Yep. Anyway, so Leno asks him about it, and Obama says he's been learning to bowl, and he brags that he - get this - he brags that he rolled himself a 121."

"No way! 121! What a fuckin retard! You know that babblin red-haired half-wit bastard of Becky Sue Lawford's? Petey, the one I'm all the time chasin away from the used hubcap shed? I'll bet that little cretin could bowl 121 in a heartbeat."

"Bless his pointed little head, I'm thinking Petey could pick up 130 at least."

"Hoo, hoo, hoo... Jeez. What does Rush bowl?"

"He didn't say, but I'll bet it's nothing as retarded as 121. But then there was more to the story. Obama tells Leno that it wasn't like he was in the special Olympics."

"Special Olympics? What the hell's that supposed to mean? Ain't all the Olympics special? I'm sayin, they just have em bout ever four years or so."

"Yeah, well, you're right, that wasn't supposed to be funny, and Rush got all pissed as shit."

"Cause Obama bowls like a fag?"

"No, I don't think so, though he might just have been too polite to ridicule the President's bowling score, cause, you know, that's a direct reflection on the whole country."

"Oh yeah, thanks a lot Hussein, now the whole goddam world thinks that America can't bowl. Shit... So what the hell was Rush gettin mad about, anyhow?"

"Well, as best as I can figure out, there's some sort of event where they gather up all the slow kids together and have them try to do the Olympic sports."

"Jeez, that's retarded. You mean they have all those little mongoloids out there pole-vaultin and shit?"

"Yeah, I gather so. Craziest thing I ever heard of. I mean, like little Petey, he might be able to bowl, but I wouldn't let him within ten yards of a javelin."

"Goddam right about that... Still, I tell ya what. I think if I had enough beers, I'd pay cash money to see those Special Olympics. That'd be funnier than shit. I'm gonna go."

"Well, I think that was kinda Rush's point, he's turning into one of those politically correct asswipes. But he was saying that you shouldn't even be looking at the short bus kids cause it might hurt their mama's feelings."

"Yeah, well... fuck Rush. I'm goin."


  1. . . .goin'. . .goin' . . .
    How can we get them ALL to go?

  2. That was very, very funny. Amazing how the twenty seconds Obama makes fun of his bowling tops the twenty minutes on how bad the economy is.