Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Steele denies Limbaugh's corpulence

Michael 'Ice' Steele has made another attempt to placate the figurative head of the Republican Part, appearing on 'Good Morning America' to state in no uncertain terms that Rush Limbaugh is not fat.

"Indeed he is not," said Steele, wearing the traditional GOP post-criticism outfit of sackcloth and ashes. "Fat? I should talk. Look at the size of my head, all bloated on delusional ideas of my own importance. Mister Limbaugh, on the other hand, is stuffed with good old fashioned magnificence. Stuffed? Did I just say stuffed? What the hell is wrong with me? That was out of line and I want to make a preemptive apology. Mea culpa, big time."

The Bloated One did not appear overly eager to accept Steele's plea for forgiveness, saying in a phone call to Politico's Mike Allen that this latest apology was even lamer than the first attempt, "which itself was a pretty sorry sorry."

"To begin with," Limbaugh burped, "in Mr Hip-Hop's original blasphemy, he never mentioned the fact that I was portly. He said that I was an entertainer, he said that I was incendiary, and he said that I was ugly. 'Fat' is an entirely new slander, and not one that I take lightly coming from a wannabe gangsta like Steele. Maybe he should come down to the Excellence in Broadcasting Studio and bow down before my golden microphone if he's serious about escaping my wrath."

A spokesman for Steele rejected Limbaugh's terms, saying that it would be unseemly for the head of the Republican National Committee to bow down before a microphone of any type, although he did allow for the possibility of him kissing The Bloated One's svelte and muscular buttocks.

Limbaugh makes Steele a counter-offer


  1. Mark— are you suggesting that Cartman is—
    Rush Limpball?
    Doesn't that mean Kyle Steele must respect his authoritaih?

    (Hey— I think I can post now!)