Thursday, April 23, 2009

double bogey

Congressional firecracker Todd Tiahrt, amateur golfer and author of the Tiahrt Amendment, stepped forward today for another clarification to a previous careless remark he had made about Rush Limbaugh in which he seemed to indicate that he did not believe that The Bloated One was in fact the leader of the Republican party.

A week ago Tiahrt carelessly referred to Limbaugh as 'just an entertainer', a callous statement that weeks earlier had nearly cost Michael Steele his job as GOP Chair. Quickly realizing his mistake, Tiahrt tearfully released an apology which stated that The Bloated One was not an entertainer, not at all, but was instead "a great leader of the conservative movement in America".

Rush was not at all amused, nor were the thousands of angry dittoheads which quickly overloaded the Tiahrt switchboard.

"And so we have the sad case of Todd Tiahrt, the man with the misplaced vowel," Limbaugh told his audience Wednesday afternoon, shortly before departing on a long golfing weekend (an outing to which Tiahrt was not invited). "He goes in front of the press and states that I, El Rushbo, am not an entertainer, when, in fact, I am the most successful individual currently occupying the American stage. Perhaps when Mr Misplaced Vowel has amassed thirty million weekly listeners he will have earned the right to his opinion, but at the moment he appears to be playing the back nine without any balls."

"I am so sorry about the duplicity of the mainstream media," said Tiahrt in today's statement. "While it's true that I called Mr Limbaugh a great leader of the conservative movement, that was not the extent of my statement. In the part conveniently omitted by the press, I also called him not just a great entertainer, but the greatest entertainer, an entertainer that transcends mere entertainment, like a non-communist Bob Dylan, or Bono if he had ice cream and sprinkles on top."

Tiahrt also announced plans to golf alone this weekend.

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