Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tempus Non Substantia

Flush with victory from his impressive showing on 'America's Got Chutzpah!', former man-with-at-least-a-sliver-of-political-future Norm Coleman today filed a document with the Minnesota Supreme Court requesting them to 'take your time, and don't shuffle everything around just for my convenience'.

The writ of Tempus Non Substantia (tr. 'time is not of the essence') states that Coleman would really like to wait until the end of the month to file his opening brief.

"Just a few days, your honors," says the highly informal writ, "cause you know, it really surprised the heck out of me, not winning the last decision and all, caught me with my pants down, you might say, and then a couple of days ago my house got egged, matter of fact I almost got hit with an egg myself, quite rattling, so a couple more days, okay? As a matter of fact, just to be totally fair, I'm requesting that you give Al Franken a bit of extra time to submit his brief as well, maybe ten days, but if you think he deserves a little more, who am I to stand in your way? And then, if this isn't too forward of me, I'll need a nice spot of time to reply to his brief, as it most surely will be full of rib-tickling jests, and forgive me, I'm not a comedian, so it might take me a little longer to come up with witty retorts of my own. And then, go ahead and put the oral arguments on your calendar whenever is convenient for you, but just keep in mind that we're both a couple of long winded guys, so no hurry, maybe put it at the end of your docket so you can get some rest afterwards. Love your work. Your friend, (Senator?) Norm."

1 comment:

  1. I really get off on those arcane Latin proverbs. Keep it up, Mark!