Specter stripped

The Senate Democrats yesterday gave Arlen Specter a mighty whacking, refusing to make him the Chair of either the Judiciary or Appropriations Committee. This cruel denial of the top posts would seem to absolutely ruin his 2010 re-election plan to run as "the most powerful man in the Senate". "When Arlen announced that he was switching parties, he told everyone that he would be keeping his seniority," said Majority Leader Harry Reid. "I'm quite sure that would have been very nice for him, but he needs to get real. I mean, he can't be unaware of the fact that we measure Republican seniority in dog years, so his thirty years equals four and a fraction. We rounded up and gave him a full five - not too shabby, if you ask me. And he'll be able to lord it all over Al Franken if he wants to." "Well, dang me," said a disappointed Specter. "I've never been one of these people who says I'd rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven, but this is ridiculous. I just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell and he told me the Republicans would be willing to take me back, but they'd restart me back at zero years, so I guess five years is better than nothing. I just wish I'd done a little better job of thinking through all the repercussions. I'll tell you one thing, though. I'm going to lord it all over Al Franken."