Tuesday, June 2, 2009

He's the Un

Kim Jong-il appears to have picked his successor for North Korea's next dictator, and in a surprising development, he has chosen son number three, Kim Jong-Un.

The choice of Kim Jong-Un was a surprising one to Western analysts, primarily because they don't know a damn thing about him, other than a few basics - he's around 25, he probably attended the Berne school in Switzerland, and unlike his dad, he can speak decent English. Oh, and he likes basketball. For some reason, everybody knows he likes basketball. WaPo even knows that he's a Michael Jordan fan.

Unlike his brothers, there appear to be no photographs of Jong-Un other than a couple of childhood ones, although the drawing above has surfaced, which I've colorized for your viewing pleasure. Due to translation difficulties, it is un-clear whether this is the 'Un Official Portrait', or just an unofficial portrait on Un.

The position of new tyrant was expected to filled by Beloved Leader Kim Jong-il's number two son, Kim Jong-Chun, about whom little is known either, although Asian gossip columns reported a few years ago that Chun was following guitarist Eric Clapton around. In fact, just last week AsiaNews was reporting that the Chun selection was a done deal, because Clapton has been invited to give a concert in Pyongyang. I suppose, in hindsight, it was all just a very nice consolation prize.

If the WaPo is correct, it's all over except for the mass indoctrination, so we might as well... Oh. What's that? The mass indoctrination has begun? Okay, it's all over.

Schoolchildren in Pyongyang have already begun singing the praises of Kim Jong Un, according to a report from Rescue the North Korean People...

"That fact that schools are teaching students to sing such songs is tantamount to officially declaring the heir," the report said. "Elementary school children on a street corner in Pyongyang are singing a song about Gen. Kim Jong Un. They said they sing this song all day without doing any other regular classes."

Soldiers, too, are shouting new slogans, including, "With all our hearts, let's protect Kim Jong Un, the young general, the morning star general who inherits the bloodline of Paektu," the report said.

Mt. Paektu, the ancestral mountain of North Korea where Kim Jong-il was born in a log cabin, was not available for comment.

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