Fried Green al-Qaedas

Sulen Miller of ABC News reports that President Obama, while visiting the Great Pyramids of Giza earlier today, was startled to discover a hieroglyphic which he thought bore a passing resemblance to himself. (I know, and it isn't even a slow news day.) “That looks like me!” the President exclaimed when he saw the image of a big-eared man on the tomb, “Look at those ears!” Dragging over his Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, Senior Advisors Valerie Jarrett and David Axelrod and even personal assistant Reggie Love, the President pointed out the hieroglyphic to his staff. “Look, that’s me,” he remarked yet again. First of all, Ms Miller, other than for padding purposes, you don't need to use the phrase 'big-eared man', because that would seem to be implied by the quote "Look at those ears!" You're stepping all over the President's lines. Secondly, just what do you have against Reggie Love? Obama dragged over 'even' Reggie Love, like the poor guy was just given a mercy chuckle? And finally, you implied that Obama was looking at the a tomb when in fact he was examining the engravings on a big-ass novelty belt buckle presented to him by Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak during the traditional exchange of meaningless gifts. (Obama gave Mubarak a top of the line electric stapler). "The President was just trying to be polite by pretending to recognize the hieroglyphics," explained Gates, making air quotes at the use of the word hieroglyphics. "I think Mubarak was disappointed by the stapler and made up the part about the symbols representing the President's spirit animals. So he was being a good sport about it, but you can pick up those big ass belt buckles at any Cairo gift shop. The stapler, on the other hand, was meant as a symbol of unity and cohesion, and Reggie had to drive all the way to the Sharper Image in Fairfax to get it."