Saturday, July 25, 2009

farewell picnic



"My, my, Sarah, I've been to a lot of parties in my life, but I've got to say this is one wild shingding you're throwing here today."

"Did you mean to say shindig, Senator? Cause I'm not real sure what a shingding is."

"I'm not either, to tell you the honest truth, it's just something the young people say today. I went to a shingding at Eric Cantor's place the other day, and it wasn't worth a hill of beans."

"Is this another of your little tests, John McCain? Just because I don't know what a hill of beans is worth doesn't meant that I'm not totally ready and capable of governing."

"But I was under the impression that the purpose of today's shingding was to celebrate the fact that you're ceasing to govern... More time for the kids, more time for hunting and fishing."

"Look, if you've come up to Wasilla just to harass me, I'm going to... Oh, hi, Senator Stevens, ready for some more? Willow, give the nice old man another ooga booga."

"Which old man is the nice one, mommy?"

"Neither of them, Willow, but the one with the funny smell and the mustard on his shirt is Senator Stevens."

"Did you just call that tube steak an ooga booga, Sarah?"

"Don't you talk like that in front of my daughter, John McCain! We don't use that type of language here in Alaska!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I had just never heard anyone refer to a wiener as a..."

"Wiener! Oh my God, you didn't just say the W word in front of a child! I am not believing this... Willow, you run along and play horseshoes with Senator Stevens... I am ashamed of you, John McCain. It's no wonder I lost to Barack Obama, saddled with a running mate like you."

"Still a little bitter, are we?"

"I am not bitter, I am determined! You would never call a male politician bitter or a bitch or blinded by ambition but you feel perfectly comfortable saying those things to me. Well I've got news for you, John McCain, I've got my whole life in front of me, unlike some people I could mention who have one foot in the grave."

"Okay... Look, I apologize. I just wanted to come by and wish you the best... So... good luck. And... before I go, do you think I could get one of those ooga boogas?"

"You'll have to get in line and wait, just like everybody else."

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