Fried Green al-Qaedas

President Obama's visit to Yellowstone Park was marred by violence today as the earth itself opened up and eight thousand gallons of angry boiling water were spewed heavenward. The eruption could have caused severe injury or even death to the First Family had they been standing just a few hundred yards closer. Conservatives, while not condoning the incident, said that it was all too predictable given the current political climate. "The American people are angry," Twittered Alaskan fish-wife Sarah Palin, "and God too, who's about as American as you can get. The very soil itself does not want to be turned into Socialist land." "Oh, that's pretty good," Obama said of the eruption in that interminably condescending way of his. "Cool. Look at that. That's a geyser there." "It is beyond the pale that President Obama would resort to this type of name calling," Palin said in a follow-up Twitter. "We are not geysers. We are American patriots who intend to take our country back."