"I can't believe it," said joyous father Michael Chekevdia, "A friggin wall. The kid is in a friggin wall. Boy, talk about being the last place you'd ever look, a friggin wall. Color me flabbergasted. My kid is inside a friggin wall. I'll just bet that the next person with a missing child, they'll probably think to look there, so I'm happy if my experience helps lead to more recoveries." Along with the mother, police charged the boy's grandmother Diane Dobbs with aiding and abetting, as they are pretty darn sure she knew that someone was living in the friggin wall. "The steady loss of food and beverages alone should have tipped her off that something was amiss, not to mention the mysterious flushings of the toilet," said police sergeant Stan Diggs. "It's quite obvious that Shannon Wilfong must have made frequent nocturnal visits to the kitchen." Diggs denies any knowledge of her guests, insisting that she has always been afflicted with a condition known as sleep-eating. She does, however, delight in the discovery of a new 5x12 room inside of the friggin wall, and plans to turn it into a small parlor just as soon as she gets out of prison. "I used to stop by Grandma Dobbs house a lot," muses Michael Chekevdia. "We'd talk about the ongoing investigation, and looking back on it, I'd hear a lot of scratching and skittering. Diane said it was rats, so little did I know that it was Shannon and Richard. I mean, I knew my wife was crazy, but you never think anyone is so crazy that they're going to hide with your son for two years inside a friggin wall." |
'The Tax Fight Is Starting Now'
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An analysis released Wednesday showed that the United States' 815
billionaires have seen their combined wealth surge by roughly $280 billion
since Donald...
1 hour ago
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