Wednesday, October 14, 2009

cow on the tracks

Jive talker Michael Steele is in hot water with members of the GOP once again over his latest silly remarks to FOX News. In a discussion of health care reform, the host noted that some people feel that the "health care train has left the station with President at the wheel, and Republicans better jump on board."

Never one to let a good cliché go to waste, the RNC Chair tapped into his encyclopedia-like knowledge of trains in order to keep the analog rolling along. "Well I'm the cow on the tracks. You're gonna have to stop the train to get this cow off the track to move forward."

"That's pretty doggone silly," said wilted Republican fantasy Sarah Palin. "I'm from Alaska where we don't have many trains, and even I know that they all have cowcatchers. Except we don't call them cowcatchers up here, we call them moosecatchers. Same difference, though. They scoop that moose right up and throw them right over to the side of the tracks. I guess it usually kills them, but at least you don't have mooseburger all over the track."

"Damn right it's silly," agreed Texas governor Rick Perry. "We've got a hell of a lot of cows here in the Loan Star State. Excuse me, that's the Lone Star State. Anyway, we can't just have our cows mutilated willy-nilly, that would cause havoc to the Texas economy. It makes me wonder if Michael Steele knows anything whatsoever about trains. Subway trains, maybe. But they're underground where you don't get that many cows."

"We've got a lot of cows in my state too," said Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe, "and I don't give a good goddamn whether they get smashed into hamburger or not. I like hamburger. What I don't like is a fella who's supposed to represent the Republican Party referring to himself as a cow. Unless there's something about this Steele character I don't know - and I've got my suspicions - the operative word is steer. That's steer, as in a boy cow. He needs to get that through his uneducated head."


  1. uh..., a steer is a castrated male.