Friday, December 18, 2009

non-crisis erupts in Iraq

Less than a week after Iraq awarded oil field development contracts to Russian and China and France and Malaysia and darn near everyone but but the United States, the chaotic nation is claiming that Iran has once again crossed it's border and taken control of their oil field in the disputed border area of al-Fakah. Initial reports say that Iranian troops have dug trenches and stationed tanks around it, even going so far as to hoist their flag. A State Department spokesman said that US forces are aware of the incident.

"Jeez, that's too bad about the non-critical border dispute," said Secretary of State Clinton. "I suppose that into every life a little rain must fall. But really, we're kind of busy right now, what with surging in Afghanistan and all. And we are trying to fight a non-military solution to working with Iran... Maybe Iraq should talk about this with their development partner, Russia. No, wait, Russia and Iran are allies. Oh well..."

"Not to contradict Secretary Clinton, but I believe that China is Iraq's partner on the particular field affected by this non-crisis," said President Obama in a brief statement. "But what the heck, I guess China is allies with Iran too. Now don't bother me again until I get back from Copenhagen."

The never reticent Dick Cheney was quick to add his two cents, appearing on the always compliant Sean Hannity show.

"As you know, Sean, as someone with a depth of knowledge and experience, I never shy away from passing judgment on President Obama. But at the same time, it's important that I give him credit when he occasionally stumbles upon the correct course of action, and in this case, his dithering on this non-crisis sets exactly the right tone. Screw Iraq. I promised that oil to my friends, and President Numbnuts made a laughing stock out of me, at least in certain circles. We invested a lot of blood and treasure in Iraq, and what did we get? Nothing, nada, absolutely nothing. Well at least now I've got a little schadenfreude."

"Well put, Mr Vice President," replied the puckering pundit. "But let me add that you've never been a laughing stock to me."

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