Monday, July 5, 2010


David Brooks, caught in mid-idea (from Driftglass)

Today marks the beginning of the sixth annual Aspen Ideas Festival, whose intent is to gather the nation's biggest brains in politics, technology, economics, arts, opinionating, and religion together for cross-pollination, which, in theory, should be good for at least two or three really large ideas that will surely momentarily capture the imagination of the masses. Previous festivals have been responsible for such groundbreaking ideas as world peace and the solar-powered epilator.

This years attendees include such luminaries as Bill Clinton, Eric Holder, Bill Gates, Lewis Black, Michael Steele, Alan Greenspan, Ariana Huffington, Janet Napolitano, and David Fucking Brooks. Scheduled entertainment includes nightly performances from regional spelling bee winners and the first Sodoku Olympiad to be hosted in the United States.

"People ask me if I'm intimidated by being in the company of such massive cerebral cortexes," says RNC Chair Michael Steele. "I tell them, not at all. I saw Bill Clinton earlier today, and he kind of chuckled when he saw me, but unlike some of my Republican colleagues, he at least made an attempt to be polite. And why shouldn't he? He may have been president of the country, but I'm chairman of the Republican Party. And I've got plenty of brainpower of my own. I am not going to let myself be intimidated by the man. It's not as though he was some kind of Rhodes scholar."

"It's exactly as though he was a Rhodes scholar," sniffed David Brooks. "Even a Villanova graduate should know that. Of course, we're talking about a man - Steele not Clinton - who couldn't even pass the Maryland bar exam, the easiest bar exam, I might add, on the entire eastern seaboard. Just as with his factually deficient comments on Afghanistan and so many other matters, Steele is a party chairman who speaks without being spoken to, and if our paths happen to cross this week, I fully intend to snub him. Pedigreed elite used to be based on noble birth and breeding. Now it's genius that enables you to join the elect. And I fear that Mister Steele will not soon be elected."

"Jeez Louise," muttered Steele, "can't I ever catch a break? I thought my Afghanistan comments demonstrated a sort of plucky independence, a new idea that could be useful for the GOP. Maybe I should think about joining the Democrats and working for change that way. They seem a lot more flexible, and after all, they are on their second black president."

"Talk of party jumping by the chairman?" mused Brooks. "I'm considering the possibility that this Ideas Festival may be proving itself productive in the long run."


  1. David Brooks! Brooks is engaged in the noblest of pursuits: the proverbial Search for Excellence, a ...Win-win situation, and advancing the cause of AIPAC.