Thursday, February 26, 2009

No fish today

How mean are these times? Pretty damn mean, as is becoming increasingly clear. So damn mean that the American Museum of Fly Fishing (AMFF) can't even invite the former Vice President of the United States to a fundraising dinner without leftist tree-hugging fly fishers from around the country creating a massive ruckus over the very idea of his attendance. This is an indignity of the highest order.

But it's true. Not even the AMFF can provide a safe have from the liberal onslaught that is afoot; this once noble institution which openly displays the fishing paraphernalia from the manly side of great fishing politicians such as Herbert Hoover, Franklin Roosevelt, Calvin Coolidge, George Bush the Elder, and yes, even Jimmy Carter. Mere weeks ago the museum denied political standards, claiming "The Museum's commitment to the total history of fly fishing is inclusive." Ha.

And now, days later, it as though the lure had never been set and the line had never been cast. Dick Cheney has been cut loose, with the date now cloudy for the Fly Fishing Dinner.

It didn't take long before the radical drive-by fly fishing media elite began to poison the waters, with scurrilous publications of dubious background such as the menacingly named Trout Underground, leading the charge to spoil the Veep's big day. In an open letter to AAFF director Cathi Comar, Trout Underground unleashes this bile:

"Ms. Comar, know that in your pursuit of dollars and nudge-nudge, wink-wink “look who I’m standing next to” name-brand speakers, you’ve pissed off pretty much anyone who spent the last eight years fighting to reverse Cheney’s frequent assaults on our fish, wild places and water quality here in the West."

Pissed off? I'll tell you who's pissed of - ordinary Americans like me who understand that there is a clear difference between wanting to destroy the environment and standing in the middle of a river in the cold mountain air trying to catch a motherfucking fish with a fly. Trying to destroy the environment is a hell of a lot more fun.

If the AAFF's snub had been due to Cheney's preference to fishing with dynamite, the situation might be understandable. But no, Cheney did stand in the mighty river baiting his hook with the miniscule flies, and he did pull forth many fish, many of which were reputedly this long.

We can only pray that the American Museum of Dynamite Fishing does not succumb to the same sort of left-wing pressure which has now left their fly fishing brethren on the barnacle- ridden rowboat of irrelevance.

Kid Creole welcomes Cheney to the downscale class.


  1. Ha! Fly fisherman.
    I heard he once hooked a man in the face;
    and the man apologized.