Saturday, February 28, 2009

a song for CPAC

They've already gone through quite a few leaders of the 'new conservative uprising' at CPAC - nice guy Mike Huckabee, John 'The Walrus' Bolton, Michael Steele (who be the man), and Job the Plumber on Thursday; John 'Weepy' Boehner, Stephen 'the good one' Baldwin, Mitt!, Mitch McConnell, and Newt 'Big Brain' Gingrich on Friday.

With Sarah Palin missing in action, Bobby Jindal (future of the GOP for about five seconds) adrift in the high waters, and William Shatner out with a previous engagement, there is a real need to finish up with a bang, and by god, it's gonna happen with today's big stars - Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh!

Truth be told, those are really big stars in this particularly sad and dark universe, and I'm sure there will be a number amongst the attendees who will endlessly retell details of this exciting day for decades to come, much like an older generation rambles on about their happy day at Altamont. All that is missing is that one perfect song with which to anchor these golden memories, and so I offer up Mr. Iggy Pop's anthem to conservatism as a heartfelt bipartisan gift.

My colleague Blue Gal says that she finds it hard to attack an enemy in retreat, to which I reply only this: Girl, you just haven't seen enough monster movies. The creature always rises again the moment you feel safe, and there is always a sequel.


  1. Yeah, the Japanese thought they had put down Godzilla back in 1954. Twenty-seven sequels later, the King of the Monsters is still stomping Tokyo.

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  2. Forget William Shatner. He was born in the wrong country.

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