Blog against Theocracy? Kish mir en toches!

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor today used an appearance before a pro-Israel group to blast President Obama's plan to hold the first ever White House celebration of Seder on Thursday, calling it "the shande action of a Meshugeneh who is too fahklumpt to know a matzah ball from a basketball. I smell Rahm Emanuel's hand in this farkuckt attempt to mix politics and religion. Feh!" The Passover Seder Meal, with it's symbolic foods and four cups of wine, commemorates the Israelite exodus out of Egypt, and is traditionally celebrated on the first night of Passover. "Which would be Wednesday night, hello," kvetches a clearly verklempt Cantor. "I wonder what other customs that shlemiel and his shikseh wife plan on defiling. Gevalt geshreeyeh, he probably intends to substitute four Bud Lights for the Seder wine! More geschmak, less filling. Phooey!" Cantor said he felt obliged to speak out as the only Jewish Republican in the House, noting that "there are thirty-one Jewish Democrats, and in the Senate, my God, you've got Feingold, Lautenberg, Kohl, Feinstein, Boxer, Schumer, Sanders, Kaufman, I could go on an on, all Democrats, and all Jews who will not say a tiny thing to this shmuck, shnooks who just want to shmooz with their false Messiah. Oy vey, it's just me and Arlen Specter for the GOP Jews, and Specter got invited to their shande little party, that shmendrik. I'm the only balebetishen Yidden in the whole bunch." "This is an event that should have been reserved for the first Jewish president, and we better get one soon because we've had every other kind of tsuris. They say don't sweat the chachkes, but seeing this wannabe alter kocker befoul Seder makes me chaloshes. A klog is mir, a klog is mir."