Sunday, April 19, 2009


"...and so what we are saying is that while words and handshakes are nice, they alone are not enough. I am not concerned about the message it sends, I am concerned what flows from it. Okay... Helen Thomas."

"Yes, Bob. I'd like to know why, given the depravity on display in the release of the latest Bush torture memos, President Obama has not yet signaled his willingness to proceed with prosecution of what would certainly seem to be war criminals, starting with Bush and Cheney, and working on down the chain. Can we expect any action on that in the near future?"

"Well, Helen, you can frame that anyway you want to, but I think you have to take a pragmatic approach and ask yourself if you really want to see the president put himself into a protracted battle at the expense of everything else we hope to accomplish in these four short years. I mean, we do have a congress which has had a number of years to start action on these charges, and I think that it might be a... what in the blazes... There’s a guy in his underwear back there. I'm not trying to duck your question, Helen, but really, there’s some guy in his underwear over there."

"Oh, yes. That's Major Garrett from FOX News. We all call him Major Embarrassment."

"I can certainly see why. Maybe we should call him Captain Underpants."

"That's already taken, Bob, although we could have someone check into the 'fair usage' provision."

"No need, Helen, I'm perfectly okay with Major Embarrassment."

"Yes, Bob, I want to know..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Calvin Klein, nobody called on you."

"Au contraire, Bob, I just heard..."

"No shoes, no shirt, no questions, Jockey Boy. I'd ask what it is you don't understand about press briefs, but I guess that would just be going for a cheap laugh."

"It's okay, Bob, cheap laughs are better than no laughs at all."

"I suppose you're right, Roger. Maybe FOX didn't get the memo that teabagging day was last Wednesday. As the psychiatrist said to the man in the Saran Wrap underpants, I can clearly see your nuts... Anyway, did you have a, uh, brief question?"

"Yes I do, Bob. Why don't birds wear underpants?"

"Because their peckers are on their faces. Cynthia Turner, AP..."

"Yes, Bob. I was wondering whether or not President Obama has an opinion as to why it is that blondes wear underwear?"

"I haven't spoken to him on the matter, Cynthia, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he believes that it provides them a way to keep their ankles warm. Chuck Todd, MSNBC..."

No comments:

Post a Comment