poppy stompers

Well here it is, already April, time to announce the latest feeble attempt to stem Afghanistan's poppy production. Or the lifeblood of the country, as the old-timers call it. This is Obama's first shot at a plan, and he's going with the additional narc option, bringing the number of agents up to eighty in total. In a large ass country the size of Texas. Where poppies are grown everywhere that you can grow them. And the folks get mighty testy when you ask em who holds the deed. Good luck with that. Personally, I much preferred the Bush plan of hiring laborers to trample them.

From the archives.

From an AP story about this years effort to exterminate Afghanistan's number one cash crop. The spokesman for Afghanistan's Ministry of Counternarcotics, Said Mohammad Azam, said this year's effort will rely on "traditional techniques" -- sending laborers into fields to trample or plow under opium poppies before they can be harvested. Omar: Dah dah dee dah dee doo dah, dah dah dee doo dah doo, these boots were made for walking, dah dah dee... Karzai: Hey! Hey! You there! Halt your movements!... Cease all forward motion in your path. Hey!... Son of a pig!... You! Stop it right now before I shoot you! Omar: Oh, hey, uh... hello, brother. I could not hear you with these headphones on, heh heh... Karzai: I must make you aware of the fact that you have ventured onto private property, and I am within my legal rights to dispatch you from this earth. Omar: Be not hasty, my brother. My ass ran out of grass a couple miles down the path. I was merely... Karzai: You were merely doing what? It appeared to me that you were moving aggressively through my crops. Omar: These crops? The poppies? These are, uh, lovely flowers, you must have a green thumb... Karzai: As a matter of fact, I would go so far as to say that you appeared to be trampling my crops. Omar: Trample your crops? Allah strike me down if this is true. I just had my iPod turned up and... Karzai: Give me that iPod or I will shoot you here and now. Omar: Oh man... Karzai: What? What is this? Let me see your feet. Omar: My feet? Why would you feel the need to... Karzai: Those are some enormous shoes that you are wearing. Omar: These? I will be the first to acknowledge that my feet are rather large, but... Karzai: No man has feet the size of those. By the name of the prophet, you are wearing Poppy Stompers! Omar: Untrue, brother. I, uh, I... work part time as a circus clown in Kabul... Karzai: Those shoes are not red! Omar: No, uh... these are the, uh, my leisure shoes, and I... Karzai: They are Poppy Stompers, and you are working for the infidels! Prepare to die. Omar: Prepare to die? That is a less than gracious manner in which to speak... Hark! I hear the prayer bell. Karzai: The prayer bell? Then your demise will have to wait... Allaabu Akbar...Allaabu Akbar...Allaabu Akbar...Ash'hadu an laa ilaaha illallaah...Ash'hadu anna Muhammadar... Wait a minute, we don't have a prayer bell... Hey! Hey you!... Infidel!... Come back here... You'll never get away in those shoes...