Sunday, April 5, 2009


"Mister President?"

"Come on in and have a seat, Hillary. You're here to brief me on the North Korean missile launch, right."

"Yes sir, a blatant provocation that the international community must respond to immediately. We've already called a meeting of the UN Security Council, and I've got a teleconference with Taro Aso and whats-his-name, the South Korea guy, Mungobungo, in about an hour."

"Myung-bak, President Lee Myung-bak. Try to get his name down before you talk to him."

"Myung-bak, Mungobungo, whatever, it's all under control. The launch commenced at 11:20 GMT, and as you probably already know, it was a failure. No satellite made it into orbit, and what remains of the rocket is somewhere down at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean."

"Wow, who would have figured? A failed North Korean missile launch. That's what, eighty-seven in a row?"

"Well yes, they do seem to have a penchant for failure, don't they? Nevertheless, it was an extremely provocative action that we can't ignore. This is further evidence that..."

"I know, Hillary, I've read all the briefs. What I need is for you to give me the Jong Report."

"The Jong Report? You love that, don't you?"

"I can't help myself, Hillary, it's your crowning glory."

"Okay, Barack, you talked me into it. Let me just fix my eyes...

Peeper of Korea, this is your beroved reader Kim Jong Il with wonderfur news regarding the march of our great nation into the twentieth century, where North Korea wir once again be procraimed as the riving embodiment of the hopes of arr mankind, as werr as something that the radies rike too."

"Heh heh heh heh..."

"Today, Korea raunched a rocket into the heavens, carrying as it's payroad the best saterrite ever. Not just terevision but high quarity digitar FM too."

"Wah ha ha ha ha ha, quarity digitar FM. hee hee hee..."

"Now announcing strategy to make FM terevision avairable in homes throughout our motherrand for as row as ereven won a month if you sign up for the two year pran."

"Bwahahahahahaha... you go, girl."

"Many countries are now jearous of Korea's mighty saterrite, accusing us pursuing nucrear capabirrity when arr we wish to do is read the worrd in broadcasting excerrence. Right now, for those with ears to hear, prease turn your diar to 106.7 and you wirr hear the grorious sound of Haruki Cho performing 'Song of Generar Kim Jong il' in sparkring digitar crarity."

"Hoo hoo hoo, hahahah stop, bwahahahaha stop it Hillary, that's all I can take."

"What did you say?"

"I said, Stop it, Hirrary, that's arr I can take."

"Okay, Barack, since you asked me nice I'll stop. Hey, I've got to hurry down to that teleconference. Is there anything else you need before I go?"

"No, thanks, that should do it. You always know how to put me in a better mood when I have to meet with Gates."

"Sure thing, boss, that's what I'm here for."

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