Somalia mourns dead pirates

"No no no, Somalia in no way mourns the dead pirates," said Prime Minister Omar Abdirashid Ali Sharmarke, moments after learning that three swashbucklers were killed in the rescue of American ship captain Richard Phillips. "That is a picture of Cicely Tyson and I do not even know why you are showing it to me. We despise pirates here in Somalia, with all their violence, bravado, and foul-mouthed thuggery. Now Puntland, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter. It would surprise me not in the least to find much wailing and gnashing of teeth among those lawless hordes." "Oh no he didn't," said suspiciously dry-eyed Puntland President Abdirahman Mohamed Farole when confronted with Sharmarke's remarks. "Ever since 1998 all that we have heard is that Puntland is only a figment of our imagination. Sharmake insulted me just last week by telling me that I was the president of nothing but a lie, and that greater Somalia would never recognize our independence. But now that there is a little bit of bad publicity, he feels the need to shoot off his mouth about the independent nation of Puntland. Well, are we a separate nation or are we not? I most sincerely believe that we are, but of course I respect Sharmake's right to disagree, although he now appears to agree, leaving me in a state of generalized confusion." "That said, I must indeed grieve over the passing of three of my countrymen," Farole continued. "We are a poor but proud country. Aside from our abundant seafood and our very nice flag, what does Puntland have? These ruffians may have been pirates, but they were our pirates."