Thursday, May 28, 2009

Memories that don't exist

From the Korean Central News Agency of DPRK: 'Souvenir Picture Which Was Not Taken'

Pyongyang, May 26 (KCNA) -- The car carrying General Secretary Kim Jong Il was running a sightseeing road of Mt. Kuwol on May 1, Juche 86 (1997).

It's kinda hard to tell exactly what year and date we're talking about here, isn't it? Maybe this is a glorious story from years ago, a happier time, a story which bears repeating,...

The road under construction was yet far short of completion. Not minding this, however, he did not take his eyes off a car window as if he was fathoming the troubles of the soldier builders. He got off the car near the fork of the road in the mid-slope of the mountain and met commanding officers of a unit of the Korean People's Army engaged in the building of the holiday resort of Mt. Kuwol and highly appreciated the painstaking work of the soldier builders. He earnestly told them to spruce up the mountain to provide the people with a better resort of cultural recreation, true to the behest of President Kim Il Sung.

Kim II Sung, constitutionally designated as NK's 'Eternal President'. Well, he's dead now, so screw him. But I think we now know this is a fable from the past, since it's been a long time since any North Korean but Jong has been to a holiday resort.

He went round a number of construction sites through the sightseeing road built by soldiers and spread before them a far-reaching blueprint to turn the mountain into a splendid resort of cultural recreation for the people.

A splendid and far-reaching blueprint. Which Jong drafted by himself. On the drive over from the palace.

Out of the ardent desire to provide him a happy time, if but for a moment, officials earnestly asked him to have a picture taken with them against the background of the picturesque scenery of the mountain.

He smiled a generous smile of understanding and said that was not a good idea when the resort was in the thick of construction and he would come again after the completion of the project and have a souvenir picture taken.

Poor Dear Leader, his people would do anything just to bring a momentary smile to his face. But does he care? No. Maybe he'll come back when they can do a little better job. No wonder this article goes on to call him a sanctimonious little prick.

The officials were choked with emotion at his words full of warm love for the toiling soldier builders whom he thought before anyone else. The story about the souvenir picture which was not taken will go down long to the posterity as a legend of the leader's love for the KPA soldiers along with Mt. Kuwol, a famous mountain of the people.

What a truly glorious tale!

Extra special bonus glory! (via The Lede): North Korea celebrates Nuclear Test. Witness now their wild enthusiasm!

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