Sunday, August 2, 2009


That was no earthquake you heard this morning rumbling through the streets of Sacramento, it was the sound of a state trembling, as California's largest government union voted to walk off the job at some future date if they really felt like it.

"There is no strike planned at this time," said union spokesman Jim Zamora, who represents 95,000 secretaries, nurses, custodial workers, computer specialists and other sundry state workers. "But that doesn't mean we won't strike later. Why, we could strike at a moments notice, and there's not a darn thing Schwarzenegger could do about it. Except not pay us. Which might make him happy, the bastard. Well, we're wise to him and we're not going to strike unless we darn well feel like it."

"Me, I really feel like striking right about now," said Amanda Mitchell, an administrative assistant in Oakland. "Of course it's Sunday, so it's hard to tell what I'll feel like tomorrow. I'll probably feel a little hungover, so I might not want to get into a big scene right away. But, Tuesday, who knows? I mean, I'm already getting furloughed three days a month, which is like a 14% pay cut, so if I went on strike, I'd only be losing another 86%, which isn't so bad unless you think about it."

"Strike? Are you crazy?" asks Mitchell's roommate Roxanne, a non-state nail technician. "It's the first of August, Mandy, they're probably gonna want you to march around with a picket sign in the hot sun. You shouldn't even think about striking before October. Hey, and with Suzie pregnant, by then I might be able to get you a part time at Pinkies."

Although the state worker's union has never gone on strike before, they have taken other drastic actions, such as all taking their fifteen minute break at the very same time.

"Oh, that was so cool when we did that," reminisces Mitchell. "Everybody went outside and we were smoking and laughing and like 'I bet old man Beasley has to answer his own phone' and 'Who's gonna type up that urgent memo now?' Yeah... But then we saw him pull out of the garage and found out he had taken the rest of the afternoon off."

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