Saturday, August 8, 2009

Trig safe (for now)

Dr Herbert West, Barack Obama's choice to lead the Death Panel under the new socialized Nazi health care program, today denied the accusation from Alaskan fish-wife Sarah Palin that there were plans to kill her son Trig.

"It's called the Death Panel because we're trying to prevent death, not cause it, okay?" said West, obviously perturbed by the accusation. "I mean, what the hell, do you think the Cancer Research Foundation is trying to figure out new ways to give people cancer? Get a clue, lady, buy a vowel."

"First of all, you used to be a politician, so I'm assuming you still have some connections, which means you're probably never going to have to go in front of the Death Panel like some sort of ordinary citizen would."

"Second, you're in Alaska. You want to talk about rationing health care? You red-staters aren't ever going to get any of our precious government health care, although you will get taxed out the wazoo to pay for it. After all, there's a whole lot of border-jumping Mexican babes in need of breast augmentation."

"And finally - duh - your son is already born, so as far as the Death Panel is concerned, his living or dying is a moot point, at least until he's old and becomes a drag on society. So quit making stuff up, why doncha."

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