Friday, October 23, 2009

Breaking news from Politico

Politico has revealed the stunning news that FOX News chief Roger Ailes will not run for president in 2012. In an unsourced exclusive by Mike Allen, Ailes is quoted as possibly telling an unnamed aide that "This country needs fair and balanced news more now than ever before, so I’m going to decline a run for the presidency. Besides, I can’t take the pay cut."

"Or words to that effect," says Allen. "It's hard to be sure. There was a lot of background noise. And I had three or four TVs going, and there was a crying baby outside, and the aide had some sort of weird accent. Okay, it's possible that I made up the part about the pay cut, because the quote - if it was a quote - lacked a certain pizzazz. The basic facts are correct, though. Ailes is not running for president. It was a ridiculous story and I'm glad I was able to debunk it. I don't know how these crazy rumors get started."

Allen became suspicious after reading an exclusive unsourced story in Politico earlier in the day which said that unnamed friends and associates were urging Ailes towards a 2012 run.

"It was just a hunch," said Allen, "but when I saw that the piece was written by Mike Allen, my journalistic radar went off big time. I mean, Allen is a great writer and a pretty swell guy in general, but he seems to be overworked. I think maybe he just needs some time off."

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