Sunday, November 1, 2009

Capitol Hilloween

"Aw, jeez... worst Halloween ever. All I got was hard candy, a couple popcorn balls... Milky Way Dark, that's not too bad... little box of raisins... anybody like raisins? Huh. Necco wafers. Haven't seen those since I was a kid... An apple? I'm not gonna eat that, some psycho could have put a razor blade in there... Another Milky Way Dark. What was there, a sale at CVS? More hard candy... What the fuck? Somebody put a baggie of dog poop in here... Worst Halloween ever."

"Well, I did pretty good, John. I'll share with you. Here, have another popcorn ball."

"Of course you did pretty well, Michelle, wearing that sexy devil outfit. Kinda makes you rethink the whole concept of Hell. How'd you make out, Pete?"

"I'm not Pete, I'm Batman. And I made out like a bandit. Everybody in my neighborhood was giving out Airplane Bottles. Say, that's a pretty limp bag you've got there, Eric. Maybe you should rethink your costume next year."

"C'mon, it's a good costume. See, I've got my whip and my Star of David, and I..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, the House Minority Whip. Maybe that's just a little too inside for most people."

"I know. I guess sometimes I'm just too clever for my own good. At least I did better than John. Tell them what you're supposed to be, big guy."

"Uh... the new face of the Republican Party."

"Bwah ha ha ha... Say, Batman, trade me one of your Johnny Walkers for something sweet?"

"Sure, devil girl. Got any Reese's?"

"You bet, Batman. Dozens."


  1. O, Mark. You consistently out-onion the Onion. I don't worship you, or anything, but I do bow at your feet, Master.

    I hope all those Pat Robertson types are watching. Then again, they have already sent me to hell, or something. I wonder, just what the HELL kind of gd version of HELL do they hold?.

    Am I rambling? Sometimes I can't tell;o)

  2. Probably Hell as the House Minority Whip. Every time you walk up to someone, you just know they're muttering 'asshole' under their breath. And how dispiriting must it be when you realize that the majority of your party thinks of Sessions and Bachmann and YouLie as the cool kids?