Saturday, October 31, 2009


Afghan President Hamid Karzai has called on his opponent in the November 7th run-off election to "grow up and stop being a big baby" after Abdullah Abdullah threatened to pull out of the race. Abdullah has expressed concern that the same election officials who allowed or assisted the stuffing of ballot boxes in the earlier election will still be in charge of the run off.

"Corrupt officials in my administration?" scoffed Karzai. "I really don't think so. I've got the cream of Kabul. Let me lay this out logically. If something happens once, it is simply a data point, and no conclusions may be drawn. Now if it happens again, you look at it warily, and yet, it may only be a coincidence. It is not until the third occurrence that you can say with some certainty that there is a pattern. And let me point out, there is no provision in Afghan law for a third election."

Karzai believes that it was the ballot-happy citizens of Afghanistan who were responsible for the over-vote, and pledged that he would call on the Afghan people to "curb their enthusiasm, and try to vote only once."

"But it's hard," he continued. "After all, how often do they get to vote? Right, right, only once. I'm just saying that it's been a few years since the last election, and the democracy loving people of Afghanistan just love casting ballots. Still, they got to do it just a few weeks ago, so maybe they've got it out of their system. I hope so, anyway, but I've got to say that we have some of the most enthusiastic voters in the world, and this time we'll be sure to double-check both hands for tell-tale purple fingers."

Abdullah remained skeptical, saying "It is not as though they don't have soap."

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