Monday, November 16, 2009

Gaddafi guilty

Bob Dylan was one of the many celebrities not in attendance.

Ridiculous Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, in Rome for the Food and Agriculture Organization summit, has been found guilty of hosting the very worst party in recent Italian history.

"Tacky, tacky, tacky," declared Italian news daily La Republica. "Perhaps Mr Gaddafi has never heard the old axiom 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do', because no Italian with the least bit of self-respect would ever dare host a party this boorish. Honest to God, we bet there have been more entertaining parties than this over at the Pope's place."

In spite of the press reports, it's quite likely that there was at least one person who enjoyed themselves - Muammar Gaddafi. The Libyan lunatic used a model agency to hire 100 young bella donnas for the occasion. Staying true to his conflicted nature, Gaddafi required the women to be at least 5'7" and well dressed, but he strictly prohibited short skirts and low-cut tops. They were paid €50 each for attending the event which was held at the luxuary Via Veneto hotel. Upon arriving, they were treated to the delightful entertainment stylings of Muammar Gaddafi!, who yelled at the women in a futile attempt to make them convert to Islam. As parting gifts, they were given copies of the Koran and 'How to be Muslim'.

"We were at least expecting a snack", said puzzled attendee Silvia Figliozzi. "And the entertainment was just terrible. When that man, whoever he was, first came out, I said 'Oh goodie, it's Bob Dylan'. I mean, I'm not a big Dylan fan, but yeah, for fifty euros I'll listen to your stuff. Who knew? Ah well, no big loss, it's all a matter of perspective. The weird guy was telling this story about Jesus, and how he wasn't really crucified. He said God snatched him away, and they ended up crucifying some other guy who looked just like him, and I say to myself, 'Here I am thinking that I'm unlucky', you know?"

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