Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Taliban warns off South Korea

Taliban fighter flees flying female foot in fear, forsaking fallen friend to foe.

South Korea today announced that it intends to send an additional 350 civil engineers to Afghanistan, causing the Taliban to issue it's highest severity threat - the 'bad consequences warning'. Experts believe that the only bad consequences in store are those which are about to befall the Taliban.

"Seoul had promised to pull out its soldiers from Afghanistan and that it will never try to send any forces in future," said Maulana Fazlullah, on Swat Valley's Taliban radio station. "What are we to make of these people? They are completely two-faced, and I would not trust them any further than I can throw a wildebeest. If they send their forces to Afghanistan and break their promise, then they should also be prepared for bad consequences, and may Allah have mercy on them if they come after us with their feet."

"The Taliban have a deadly fear of all forms of foot fighting," explained Afghan commander Stanley McChrystal. "It doesn't matter whether it's Kung Fu or Kick-boxing or Jeet Kune Do. But the thing that terrifies them the most it Taekwondo, and that's the method that the South Koreans excel at. Every single one of these soldiers - I mean 'civil engineers' heh heh - trained for the 2009 Asian Martial Arts Games. You know, just in case. Before long, I believe we'll be able to say we've broken the back of the Taliban, as well as their shins and quite a few of their ribs."

"This is so unfair," said Afghan Taliban leader Mullah Omar. "We believe that the foot is unclean, so be struck by one is quite blasphemous, not to mention painful. And the Koreans, they use girls. We cannot fight girls. Oh sure, we can stone them, we can beat them with sticks, we can throw acid on them, but to meet them on the field of combat would be a disgrace. And to be struck by a flying female foot... My heart is heavy, my future is dark. I told my soldiers they would have to wear groin guards and now they are in open revolt."

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