Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bush Mourns Moon

"Heck," said the distraught ex-president, muscles tensed as he struggled to keep his composure. "I just... heck."

Of all those who were affected by the news of NASA's mission curtailment, none were touched more deeply than George W Bush by the sad reality that there will be no money in President Obama's new budget for NASA's Constellation space exploration program.

"No moon landers... no moon colonies... no men on the moon at all," said Bush, slowly nodding his head in grief and bewilderment. "It's like losing a memory that hasn't even happened yet... and maybe now, it never will."

Back in 2004, when the nation still seemed to have more money than you could shake a stick at, Bush announced his bold plan to return to the moon, perhaps as early as 2015, and suddenly the whole universe seemed to be in play.

"We were going to launch the first robotic mission by 2008," Bush says, momentarily immersed in reverie. "That's a date with destiny we never made. I got distracted with a whole lot of things, and then the economy started to go all to hell... But we were gonna put a man back on the moon by 2015. I kinda knew I wouldn't still be president by then, but I just imagined that once I got things set in motion, the future would take care of itself. You remember what we were going to do next, don't you? I mean, after we built those moon colonies. We were going to go to Mars, and the worlds beyond. I thought I'd see it all unfold in my lifetime... I knew I would."

"President Obama called to tell me the news himself... I guess that's the least you can do when you're stomping on a man's legacy... He told me NASA was gonna focus on Earth-science projects. Earth science! That sounds like something Al Gore would say. I'll bet he had a hand in this..."

"I was stunned," Bush said, the look on his face revealing the sorrow inside. "Now I'll never have a moon colony named after me... But maybe the Congress will put the moon funding back in the budget. Maybe the American people will be so outraged that he won't have any choice but to listen. Maybe... I told him, Mister President, I hope you fail... Heck..."

1 comment:

  1. Gals
    You have got to see this. Obama playing on XBox. Funniest video ever.