Thursday, January 28, 2010

Protocol breached!

In a startling break with tradition, Samuel Alito has violated the long observed protocol which requires Supreme Court Justices to sit motionless and expressionless at State of the Union speeches like a bunch of wax dummies.

Alito, being nowhere near as obtuse as Justice Thomas nor as obnoxious as Justice Scalia, has long been overshadowed by the other conservatives on the court, but he briefly seized the spotlight last night by visibly shaking his head and mouthing 'not true' in response to President Obama's criticism of the court's decision to embellish corporate freedom of speech rights.

"For a Supreme Court Justice, it was the behavior of a wild man," opined retired justice Sandra Day O'Connor. "It's much like Joe Wilson yelling 'You lie' - if Wilson had also jumped on top of his seat and ripped open his shirt. Yes, it's that bad."

"There's a good reason that justices don't betray emotion during the speech," continued O'Connor. "Other than for confirmation, it's the only time the American people get a chance to see us, and it's important that we maintain the illusion that we have no opinions whatsoever. So if the president says 'The state of our union is strong', we don't applaud, because who knows, maybe it is and maybe it isn't. I remember in 1982 when I was still new to the bench and President Reagan in his speech declared that 'Apple pie is good' and I almost sacrificed my judicial dignity by rising to cheer. Thank God Justice Burger was there to stop me or I would have made a complete fool of myself, just like Sam Alito did last night."

1 comment:

  1. Ah yes. How good.

    Let it be known that I did not partake of the horseshit---only the after-talk.

    How good.