contempt

In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court has charged Barack Obama with contempt for "disrespecting our court, to our face, on national television". The President has been ordered to pay a civil fine of $500. "The President told the American people that we had opened the floodgates to special interests and foreign corporations," Chief Justice Roberts said upon announcing the decision. "That's none of his business. Maybe he just hasn't heard of this little thing we like to call separation of powers. You know, I would have liked to fine him right then and there, but since Scalia and Thomas didn't bother to show up for the speech, I didn't think I'd have the votes." Meanwhile, Justice Alito spoke to FOX News to explain what had prompted his 'inappropriate' behavior. "My behavior was not inappropriate," explained Alito. "I can't stand it when somebody is rude in my courtroom, and there we were, in the court of public opinion, listening to the president disrespect us. And I didn't mutter 'not true', I muttered 'contempt of court'. The truth is, I should have been shouting it out." Alito's claim is somewhat suspect however, as there is a certain amount of bad blood between him and Obama. During his 2006 confirmation hearings, then Senator Obama voted against him, saying that Alito "consistently sides on behalf of the powerful against the powerless." "He surely did, and then he gave me the big thumbs down," said Alito. "Well, look who's powerless now. And I want that five hundred bucks by Monday. No personal checks, either."