T-1000

ACORN, the supposed 'community organizer' for low and middle income families which in actuality is a monstrous Socialist election stealing machine, is closing it's doors after a steady loss of revenue caused by the revelation of their rampant promotion of pimping and hoing. They announced yesterday that they will shut down their national offices in the next two weeks. Or will they? Matthew Vadum at David Horowitz's NewsRealBlogs, doesn't think so, and he points to the undeniable fact that the next two weeks contain the date 4/1/10 - April Fool's Day. "Like the T-1000 android assassin in the movie Terminator 2 ACORN has an uncanny ability to pull itself back together even after being blown to bits. Its various state chapters which are busy pretending to break away from the national group witll re-unite in a new as yet unnamed organization in the not-too-distant future. Count on it." I myself have been relentlessly hunted by a Terminator T-1000 android assassin, so I can readily understand how the scars of paranoia such an experience might inflict on a frightened conservative mind, already driven half-mad by an increasingly oppressive society, might be quite deep indeed. It just doesn't make sense that the Terminator T-1000 android assassin would really be gone, does it? As Vadum points out, part of ACORN split off a while back and renamed it's evil self to the innocuous sounding Affordable Housing Center of America (and wasn't it affordable housing that caused the real estate bubble to burst?), and uh, uh, ACORN is "still number one in the heart of President Obama" - the dictator who rules Amerika with an iron fist, and uh, uh, the Terminator said '"I'll be back" and he did come back, although when he came back he was the hero which is kind of confusing although isn't confusion the whole point here? Of course, most conservative thinkers see Vadum's line of thought as the understandable delusion that it is, an attempt to make sense out of a senseless world, and concede the fact that ACORN is really gone. Yet what on earth is going on here? With the 'community organizers' finally on their death bed, the world was at long last beginning to right itself. Gubernatorial victories in Virginia and New Jersey, Scott Brown in Massachusetts, regaining control of Congress a 2010 a possibility, and then suddenly, Health Care defeat is stolen from the GOP and the future dims so much that they no longer need to wear shades. "Something has happened, there's no doubt about it," said leading conservative philosopher Newt Gingrich on the Glenn Beck show. "There's no doubt that the Right's victory over Health Care was stolen from us, but I don't believe that ACORN has returned. But who is it? Could it be George Soros and MoveOn? They're kind of yesterdays news, though. All I know is we've got to get to the bottom of this quick, before our mighty resurgence is stopped dead in it's tracks." "No disrespect, but I think you're overlooking something that's a little obvious here," replied Beck, forefinger hovering thoughtfully along his lower lip. "Something, coincidentally, that was mentioned just a couple of paragraphs ago." "I intentionally wasn't paying attention," admitted Newt. "I try not to listen to nutty ideas so as to avoid clouding my own laser-like mental emanations." "If you ignore nutty ideas, you may miss out on the opportunity to glean an important nugget of truth. The fact is, when the Terminator did return, he was seen by many people as the hero, someone who could save mankind from the new improved Terminator, who was also a model T-1000, but much improved. I don't know why they didn't bother to change the model number, though..." "They didn't change the model number because they wanted people to think the good new Terminator was the same as the bad old Terminator," shouted Newt. "By God, Glenn, you were right about listening to nutty ideas. The good new shape-shifting Terminator is the Republican Party. But the good new Terminator was stuck with the bad old Terminator's name, while the bad old Terminator was just a guy played by Arnold Schwarzenegger." "So you're saying the Terminator is Arnold Schwarzenegger?" "Not at all, Glenn, I'm saying that the bad old Terminator is someone that's playing a part, a man with the power to cloud men's minds and make them believe crazy things." "Barrack Obama?" "No, Glenn, I'm saying that Terminator is you." "Hey, now listen to who's saying nutty things. Well, that's all the time we've got for today folks. Join me again tomorrow. And Newt - Hasta la vista, baby." "Yiii, don't kill me, Glenn, don't kill me." "Whoa, whoa... I'm not going to kill you, Newt, no matter how much it might help my ratings. What the heck's gotten into you?" "I don't know, Glenn. I guess everybody's been a little paranoid lately. I worry that the party may be self-destructing. Sorry." "No problemo. It's in your nature to destroy yourselves."