Friday, May 7, 2010

TSA worker beaten after identifying suspicious package

A Florida Transportation Security Agent was beaten across the back and arms after a training exercise with a full body scanner led him to reveal that a co-worker was in possession of a small weapon. Rolando 'Tiny' Negrin was charged with with 'aggravated but understandable battery' following the revealing incident which Miami police Captain Joe Barton said "really made my week".

According to the police report, the body scan showed that Negrin "had a small penis and his co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis." They just would not stop. Negrin, who is reportedly hung like a hamster, told police that "he could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind."

Actually, he didn't lose his mind as much as he lost his temper, waiting in the parking lot for co-worker Hugo Osorno. Upon confronting the man, Negrin told him to "Get on your knees or I will kill you and you better apologize," adding "I'm going to blow your head off," a declaration that made the apology pretty much a done deal. Negrin probably would have been unsuccessful in blowing Osorno's head off, as the only weapon he had was a baton, with which he proceeded to beat his taunter, inflicting minor cuts and bruises. Police said that the weapon was "a relatively small baton, but not as small as Negrin's johnson."


  1. "TSA spokesman Greg Soule said the agency has a zero tolerance policy for workplace violence." Sexual harassment, however, is entirely acceptable and even encouraged.
    By the way, the assailant used an "expandable baton". If only he'd had that during the training exercise.

  2. 'Expandable baton? Does George Rekers know about this?