Tuesday, July 20, 2010

from Sarah's Facebook: I'm frustigated!

I really am frustigated at the moment, and yes I know, that's a made up word. It's a combination of flabbergasted and frustrated and it expresses the way I feel about the way the doggone media covers me, which is like every move I make and every word I say. They'll even cover this, in spite of the fact that it's meant only for my Facebook friends.

So it's about the 'refudiate' thing, which pretty much everybody in the entire lamestream media took the time to make fun of. Even here on my network. Come on you guys, I heard it, and Steve Doocey don't you dare ask me if I'll be on the air with you because you are a goofball. You know, everybody thought it was pretty clever when I made up that lamestream media word so I guess it's pick on Sarah time, which is almost all the time.

The thing nobody reported is that this was not the first time I've ever used the word refudiate, so I think there's some political gamesmanship going on here. The first time I used it was July 13th on the Sean Hannity show. That's a link, go on and click it. Wait. This is a link. Go on and click it. See? I accidentally said refudiate instead of repudiate and Sean just sits there like a bump on a log. I would have laughed if the hat had been on the other head, but I think that Sean is either too much in awe of me or maybe just too dumb.

So anyway, over the weekend my best friend Debbie was helping me out with my email which she does for free plus she's really smart and she says 'Sarah, you've got mail from Noam Chomsky'. I just looked her in the eye and said 'Stop it, Debbie, I'm the one who makes up words around here' and she says 'Noam Chomsky is a writer and famous linguist' and I said 'Debbie!' cause I thought she was saying something dirty and she says 'a linguist is someone who knows all about words'. See, I told you she was really smart. So I told her, 'well don't just sit there like Sean Hannity or something, read it to me' and she gives me one of her looks because she thinks Sean is kind of creepy. I guess we all do.

Well, she reads it to me and it just says 'Dear Ms Palin, refudiate is not an actual word'. And I'm like 'That was really rude', cause I was thinking if he's such a big shot famous linguist maybe he wanted to borrow the word from me, and so I'm just a teensy bit mad and I ask her 'So how did this Chomsky character get my private email anyway? and of course Debbie has an answer, 'Maybe since he knows so much about words he was able to just figure it out on his own'.

'Huh', I said, because I don't know, maybe she was right. 'Well', I asked her, 'then why did he have to be so rude?', and she says 'Sarah, not only is Chomsky a famous linguist, he's also a famous anarchist, and you used to be part of the government'. I had to think about that one for a moment because I always get anarchist and Anti-Christ mixed up, but then I remembered that when Steve Schmidt was assisting me in thinking of things to call Obama we took a look at anarchist and rejected it because it means someone who thinks that the government sucks. And that sure as heck wasn't Obama, he loves the government and just wants more of it.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that anarchists are like the Tea Party, because not only do they all think the government sucks, they think we'd be better off without it. So maybe Noam Chomsky was a Tea Partier and that's why he emailed me. 'Debbie', I said, putting two and two together, 'if this guy is a writer maybe he's written something about me. Can you Google him and see what you can find?'

Now I don't want anybody to think that I can't do my own Googles because I can. But, you know, when you Google something with your own name in it you get millions and millions of hits. At least I do, and like I said Debbie is really smart and before I could even finish that though she had something.

'Only one hit' she says, so I play along with her little joke and say 'Okay, Debbie, just tell me what that one hit says'. She is such a kidder. 'It's from an interview back in 2008', she tells me, 'and it says... okay, they ask him what he thinks of you and he says that he read that your hairdresser got twice as much money as McCain's foreign policy advise. And the he says that might be true because your hairdresser was probably twice as important to the campaign as McCain's foreign policy adviser'.

God, no wonder Chomsky is a famous linguist. He really was smart, maybe even as smart as Debbie. My hairdresser was way more important than McCain's old adviser, and that old coot never listened to anyone anyway. At least my hairdresser knew what the heck she was doing, and I listened to her every word. 'Debbie', I said, 'I think I've got a secret Santa'.

So that's why I tweeted my new word again on Monday, cause Noam Chomsky had recognized it's uniqueness. And then to send a coded message back to him, like I hear you loud and clear, I tweeted the message that the lamestream media has been making so much fun of - "Refudiate," "misunderestimate," "wee-wee'd up." English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!

Like I said, I'm frustigated, because just like I thought the bloggers and comedians were all over that, like it was some kind of joke. But it's true, I am like Shakespeare, except for the part of being a female politician who lives in Alaska in the present, instead of being a male writer who lives in England hundreds of years ago.

But none of that matters because the experts know the real truth. I got another email from Noam Chomsky today and it said "Ms Palin, regarding your tweet: 'Misunderestimate' is a malapropism voiced by George W Bush. 'Wee-wee'd up' I believe to be an utterance by one of your children, perhaps Branch or Pinecone. An exhaustive search of Shakespeare finds no usage of the word 'refudiate', so I believe it to be uniquely your own."

I certainly can't fault a stranger like Mr Chomsky for not knowing the proper names of my children, although he did come close. And he can't fault me for not knowing the meaning of malapropism, especially when Debbie hasn't been here all day. But I do feel that we've had a real meeting of the minds, and for that I'm grateful. When Debbie does finally get her, I'm going to have her track him down so I can give him a personal call. I really could use a new speechwriter.


  1. As neologisms, I can handle 'frustigate' and 'refudiate'. But 'Chomsky'? No way!

  2. Palin and Chomsky. I never would have guessed.

  3. Why, Miss Palin has not misappeared to underhand the signifcience of the Chomster's languastic termatology, H-back

  4. Great little piece of writing, Mark, and great research! Made my day.

  5. Mr. Chompsky makes some eluciferous commints.

  6. I know that Mimi is very jealous that you got Sarah Palin (her idol!) to blog over here. I'm glad she was able to clear the air about her hairdresser's worth! Her hair was half her campaign, at least it was for me.