from the Dick Armey memoirs

The fevered imagination of Tea Party shaman Dick Armey went into overdrive this week, causing him to confess his fantasies of having intimate knowledge about people of actual importance.   "When I heard that Newt had been carrying on an affair for all the years that we'd worked together," he told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, "I went home and said, 'Honey, I had no idea about this'. She said, 'Of course not. You're the last person in town Newt would have wanted to know about this'. Newt was scared of me." Because in his mind, Dick Armey is one extremely intimidating motherfucker. And yet, Newt would reveal so much more.   "Newt and Clinton actually developed sort of a bond over it," Armey revealed, reveling in his imaginary omniscience. "They had many meetings that we didn't know about where they'd drink wine and smoke cigars and talk about their girlfriends."   Wrap it up, you Dick.   "Politicians are fascinating. If you ever want to do developmental psychology, use them. They are much, much, much more skillful at developing rationalizations than developing rational thought."   "It's true," Gingrich and Clinton said in a written joint statement. "We did form a bond. We would get together, drink wine and smoke cigars, and talk for hours about what an enormous asshole Dick Armey was."