Friday, December 10, 2010

Royals in distress

"Oh my God, Charles, the peasants are revolting!"
"Yes, they certainly are, Camilla. Of course it's no coincidence that they're referred to as peasants. My mother always used to say that you could take a scrubber out of the streets, but you couldn't take the streets out of the..."
"They are in the streets, Charles! I believe they're attempting to halt our automobile!"
"Not much of a chance of that occurring. The Rolls Royce Phantom VI is one of the most powerful automobiles in the world. Do you know how many horsepower this..."
"Heavens! They're right outside our window making lewd gestures and yelling... Well, I can't be completely sure what it is that they're yelling."
"Oh, the usual, Camilla, 'Off with their heads'. That's so cliché. I believe I hear a few shouting 'bugger the Queen', and... Oh, that was so rude. I shan't tell you what they're yelling about you. Completely disrespectful."
"Why on earth are these young people behaving in such a disgraceful manner?"
"Personal grievances, Camilla. Parliament just announced a plan to triple university fees, and they're probably upset over the possibility that they may have to drop out of school and join the work force. Not that the work force really has any more room for someone without a proper education, but the fact is..."
"Bloody hell, they're gobbing on our windows. Why isn't our security stopping these ruffians?"
"Mmm, it looks to me as though they've got their hands full fighting back the rabble... You know, perhaps it wasn't a good idea for us to take the Rolls out through this part of town tonight."
"Don't be a twit, Charles. What's the point of owning a nice car like this if you're not going to use it?"
"Valid point, Camilla, although I could have done without the twit reference. After all, I was kind enough to spare you from hearing about the shouts of horse-faced minger that were directed towards you."
"That was very gentlemanly of you, Charles. I would have been quite shocked to hear such a thing."
"I know that I was disturbed by it, which is why I chose to keep it to myself. I think that... Damn. Was that paint? Camilla, they just threw white paint on the Rolls."
"White? Oh my God, that's going to look completely dreadful! Let's go home, Charles. I find that I've suddenly lost my appetite for going out tonight."
"Just as well. They're trying to roll us over anyway."


  1. It's nice to see that someone's awake to what's happening, isn't it?

    Love ya!


  2. Aye we cannna probably convince
    to pull the rope 'emself.
    And his teary-bride Camilla? a rather ripened concubine for the party members

  3. It's so gentlemanly of Charles to protect Camilla from the horse-face comments.

    I always say the rich have it harder than us peasants. Always.