Thursday, January 20, 2011

first lady of death

We all know that Hillary Clinton was the first woman to commit murder while her husband was president, but give it a rest, people. That was only one person, and there were many more that she was tempted to take out. Laura Bush had her own case of vehicular manslaughter, but for all we know it could have been an accident, so it barely even counts.
Michelle Obama is in a league of her own when it comes to dealing death. No one is certain how many she has killed, but according to startling statistics just released by the Governors Highway Safety Association, there were at least seven victims in just the first six months of 2010. That's the number of additional pedestrian deaths that have occurred since the first lady introduced her deadly 'Let's Move' exercise program.
"There’s an emphasis these days to getting fit, and I think people doing that are more exposed to risk of getting hit by a vehicle," says GHSA director Barbara Harsha. "I don't think you can write this off as naivety on the First Lady's part. When you use a position of power to encourage people to engage in dangerous activities like jogging on the highway or playing dodge with busses, you share the responsibility."
The White House has yet to respond to the charges, likely out of fear of bringing attention to the fact that five of the additional deaths were pedestrians run over by the president's motorcade.


  1. This may be the greatest Photoshop job since the Cottingley Fairies.

  2. M'chelle representin' for the Seventh Seal,mutha-f-ers.