Friday, February 4, 2011

Reagan remembers Reagan

Welcome back to the Sean Hannity show. Our special guest tonight as we kick off the big Ronald Reagan Centennial Weekend is occasional FOX News commentator Michael Reagan, the adopted son of our beloved fortieth president, who's here tonight to discuss his new book, 'My Father at 100'. Greetings, Michael.
Evening, Sean. One correction. That's not my book, it's Ron Jr's. I'm sure you don't want to promote it, and I don't want it to sell any additional copies because folks think it's me.
No book, no problem. I'm sure you've got a lot of wonderful memories to share with us tonight. Tell us a little bit about the picture we're showing on the monitor now.
That's a rarely seen family photo from 1960, Sean. My father was actually at home that day, as you can see, and that's my mother Nancy holding the baby, and my sister Patti on the right. She's laughing with delight because Dad had just given her a silver daughter for the tooth she had lost when I accidentally hit her with a tripod.
Really? You hit her with a tripod? You don't look more than eighteen months old in that picture.
That isn't me, Sean. If you remember your Reagan family history, you'll recall that I was older than Patti.
But he's looking down at the baby with what can only be called a paternal stare. Are you telling me that the baby is...
Ron Jr. I'm afraid so, Sean. And that smile you mentioned? Don't let it fool you. My father was a legendary actor who was magical in front of a camera.  As much as he might have wanted to deny the child was his, he was a man who was willing to accept his fate, and so he gave my mother the benefit of the doubt.
I would still imagine that he remained true to his principles and maintained his policy of trust but verify.
Back in those days they didn't have DNA testing, but he did a pretty thorough investigation. I know I was interrogated for a good three hours.
Well, we can see your father, the great Ronald Reagan, and there's Nancy, Patti, and the other one, but you seem to be cut out of the picture.
Both literally and figuratively, Sean. Actually, that's me behind the camera. I used to take all the family photos which is why you've rarely seen me in any of them.
Oh, uh...
Dad said that was a place of honor. And it was. He never let Ron Jr take any photos. Of course he was an infant at the time. Dad used to call me his little Kodak bear... in my imagination...
Your father was a fascinating man, Michael. I wonder when your earliest realization of your father's political wisdom occurred.
That's easy, Sean. That would have been back in 1953 when I was eight years old and asked my Dad for an increase in my allowance. I was already getting a dollar a week, which was a lot of money at the time from what he told me.
I don't know. I wasn't born yet.
It was a little shabby for Beverly Hills, Sean, particularly since I had to pay for my own clothes and school supplies. Anyway, he didn't laugh, and he didn't hit me like a lot of fathers might have. Instead he decided to teach me a little bit about economics. He said that since he had to pay 90% of his money in income taxes, that I should consider myself to be getting ten bucks a week. That really made an impression on me.
I never cease to marvel at the wisdom of the man.
That's right, Sean. He gave me an education that's lasted a life time. Ron Jr never got the benefit of his insights into life. Dad bought him a Ferrari when he was just a sophomore in high school, so it's not surprising that he turned out the way he did.
I'm sure he must have done something equally wonderful for you, Michael.
Oh no, Sean, I was never spoiled. Dad had different rules for me and what he called his real family. And he had a valid point. I was lucky to have a roof over my head.
An amazing, compassionate man. There are so many unfortunate children who are never adopted. I imagine you two were very close.
Not really, Sean, although it's been advantageous for me to pretend so over the years. Have you ever heard the story I tell about my high school graduation?
I have, but a lot of my audience may not be familiar with it.
Well, it was graduation day, and Dad was there hobnobbing. It was Beverly Hills High, of course, and there were a lot of other famous people around, so he was in his element. At one point he decided to greet some of the graduates, and he comes up to me and says - I'll never forget this - he says "Hi. My name is Ronald Reagan. What's yours?"
That famous Reagan sense of humor.
Not really, Sean, he just didn't recognize me. Of course in his defense, he had been out of town a lot. And I did have a new haircut.
And it's true that unlike Ron Jr, you don't look a thing like him.
Well, why should I Sean, I'm not real family. But even though I may not look like Ronald Reagan, our hearts are identical.


  1. I found that quite touching, really.
    There was a time when I actually might have said though I may not look like Reagan, our hearts are identical, but that was back when I was a crack whore.

  2. W00T! Love This! Great mind you have there Mr. Hoback. ;)

  3. i can only imagine of masturbation that must be going on at Fox News today....

  4. Although Michael Reagan is quite a douche, if his Wiki page is accurate, he's given a fair amount to charity. And he is rather pitiable. As long as he doesn't start frothing at the mouth.