Hello citizens, I'm Timothy Franz Geithner, and you probably recognize me from my role as the United States Secretary of the Treasury. I don't need to tell you how stressful life has been for the last two years as we've watched once great companies struggle to survive and personal fortunes laid waste as far as the eye can see. There has been a steady stream of bad news, but lately you may have noticed the many promising signs in our economy. Now I'm not saying that it's morning in America, not yet anyway, but what I can tell you is that I'm here today to deliver more encouraging news. As you may have heard, the United States is fast approaching it's debt limit, at which time new borrowing will need to be approved by a reluctant Congress in order to keep this nation solvent. Some doomsayers, myself included, have said that this nightmare scenario would take place between March 31st and May 16th. I'm pleased to inform you that the new time frame has been moved to April 5 and May 31. That potentially an astounding16% more breathing room! How can that be? It's quite simple - the government has more money. And it has more money because a few months ago the Obama administration made a strategic decision to invest American assets in American gold and silver coins, particularly these beautiful golden buffalo $50 pieces. They're an investment that you as a taxpayer will enjoy for years to come. You see, when we invest in American gold coins, the mint charges a steep mark-up. But that money goes straight to the government where it can be used for buying more gold. Genius. Citizens are free to buy American gold coins at the same mark-up, and more and more of them are taking advantage of the opportunity. We've made a fortune off of Glenn Beck alone. Can gold prices continue to rise? Many experts, myself included, say that gold could potentially reach $1600 an ounce by the end of this fiscal year because you never can tell. So buy American gold today, just like your Uncle Sam does. By the time you hear that we've extended the debt limit time frame to the fourth of July, you may have already missed an opportunity. |
Ever Wonder Why Your Never Trump Allies Are So Friendly and Deferential...
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...to the same legacy media institutions that have fucked us over so badly?
Well, perhaps it's because outfits like *The Bulwark* are sponsored by Jeff
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3 hours ago
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