Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dylan in China

Welcome to Shanghai, Mister Dylan.
Uh, thank you... It was really a long flight, but I made it at last. I was hoping to get...
Kindly have your van pull around to the back, Mister Dylan. Park it in the white zone.
Oh, uh, sure. Pull it on around boys. I'll be there in a few minutes...
Kindly remove your sunglasses, Mister Dylan. We need to see your eyes.
There... Is that better?
Ha. He looks perfectly straight to me, Su Li. You owe me five yen.
Kindly take off your hat, Mister Dylan, and speak directly into this microphone.
Well... If I have to. But why do I have to take off my hat?
Because we want to get a picture.
Kindly say cheese.
Thank you. You may resume wearing your hat.
Okay. Anything else?
Yes. We will want to examine your set list. Kindly hand it over.
Yeah, yeah, I kind of expected that. Are you all familiar enough with my work to know which songs might be inappropriate?
I am very familiar with the work of Bob Dylan. In my younger days I fancied myself as a bit of a rebel, much like you, Mister Dylan.
Well, I've scrubbed the set pretty closely...
Let us see... 'All Along the Watchtower', 'Like a Rolling Stone'... Okay, very good. No 'Masters of War', no 'Blowin' in the Wind', no 'Chimes of Freedom', not a protest song in the batch.
Well, my protesting days are all behind me now...
As are ours.
I'm glad everything meets with your approval. Guess I better get on back and join the band.
One more thing before you go, Mister Dylan...
Kindly play 'Quinn the Eskimo'. That's President Jintao's favorite song.


  1. You're a goddam genius, Mark. God, how I hate you!

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  3. Great work. Along with amazing choice of methods to work... Fantastic!!