23 bottles of beer on the bus,

Hey! Why did we stop? We've still got 23 bottles of beer on the bus!

Sorry, lady, but there's a couple of guys here who say this is as far as you're going to go.

We'll just see about that! Nobody stops Sarah Palin's forward progress.

Howdy, sexy grandma. I'm Tiny. You out takin' a little Sunday stroll?

I am not a grandma.

Mother! You are too!

I'm thinkin' ya'll might be lost. Is that what it is, sweetheart? Ya'll lookin' for Bloomingdales?

No, we were just...

Willow, he said sweetheart, so I believe the gentleman was addressing me. We are here to ride in Rolling Thunder.

Not in that bus, you ain't. Where's your hogs?

We... We have no hogs.

We actually do have a couple of bikes but they're back in Alaska and...

Hush, Todd, they're called hogs, and you are not being helpful.

Well, I'd be more than happy to have the cute one ride with me.

Really? Mom, would it be okay if...

Quiet, Willow, he said the cute one, so I assume that he was talking to me. Sure, I'll ride with you. Can I call you Booger?

Nah, that's gross. Call me Ernie.

Ernie? That's a weird biker name... Could I ride with you, Mister Tiny?

Sure thing, sexy grandma.

Oh boy, this is gonna be great! Todd, keep an eye on Willow and I'll meet you in a couple hours at the Washington Monument.

But I want to...

Come on, Willow. Let's walk up the mall and I'll treat us to a couple of snow cones...