In a move apparently intended to confuse the growing field of GOP presidential contenders, Mitt Romney has raised the bar for political subterfuge by not flip-flopping on his his position that climate change is real and energy efficiency is good. Reaction, needless to say, has been swift.
"This is insanity," says tiresome political commentator George Will. "Nobody publicly believes in climate change anymore. I suppose there may be some who believe with their heart but they know better than to believe it with their lips. Gingrich has flip-flopped on climate change, Giuliani has flip-flopped on it, and I think that Tim Pawlenty has flip-flopped as well. I'm not sure about Pawlenty, I haven't really been paying that much attention to him. The point is, Mitt Romney is the human pretzel, we expect him to twist himself into whatever position is required to come into accordance with the current conservative orthodoxy, so for what unspeakable reason has he not flip-flopped?"
"Perhaps it can be explained by Romney's love of energy efficiency and the endless burdensome federal regulation that it brings," suggested Will's even drabber colleague, Fred Barnes. "Or maybe he inwardly thrills at the thought of cap and trade, the concept of driving our energy costs ever higher. We already know he invented Obamacare so who knows what other dark secrets this shadowy Mormon keeps concealed. I'll bet he get a chuckle out of imagining us all driving little tin can cars that we have to plug into our wall sockets. I'll bet he finds the very thought of that real funny."
Underlining the significance of Romney's disastrous non-flip-flop, the lead spokesman for the Republican Party delivered a prophetic eulogy on Tuesday.
"Bye bye nomination," sputtered Rush Limbaugh. "Another RINO in the RINO hole. Mitt has dug a pit for himself at the same time that most of America has been flip-flopping as they've come to see climate change for the hoax it's always been. This is a hole Romney won't be able to climb out of. Flush it twice and bring me Santorum."
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