Saturday, July 23, 2011

the art of the deal

Look, if no one has any new ideas, we're going to go through all of the old options again and find something we can work with. I don't want to get up on Monday and watch the market drop 800 points or more.
Nobody wants to see the market plunge, but regrettably, such is their nature in circumstances such as these.
I'm reminded of a poem... There was this thing that couldn't be done, and everybody knew it, so I tackled the thing that couldn't be done, and by god I couldn't do it.
That's a real good poem, Harry.
I don't even know why I'm here....
You're here to help us reach a consensus, Nancy. We're almost out of time to keep the country from plunging into crisis.
I would suggest that we are already out of time, Mister President. You said as much last night. The Senate can't even name a post office in ten days.
There probably won't even be a post office much longer...
I remember how much my daddy used to love hanging out at the post office...
Focus people. We need a solution that is palatable to both parties
Well, we can't raise taxes and we can't cut benefits and we can't hurt the military and there's not enough money anywhere else... We used to be able to do things in the Senate, but I guess those days are gone.
The Tea Party has made it impossible for me to pass anything in the House now, no matter how much you put on the table. Sorry Mister President, they just really want default.
You know, we do have a lot of gold that's just sitting around getting dusty at Fort Knox.
And of course there's our strategic oil reserves.
Oh Lord...
Sell all our pretty things. Our national parks, our public lands...
We could sell the naming rights to our military bases and government buildings...
Why half-step, Harry? Sell the buildings and bases outright.
You all are going to give me no other option than to use the fourteenth amendment, aren't you? You're going to force me to tell Treasury to keep paying the bills irregardless.
I wish you would...
Marvelous idea, Mister President. That will give us the opportunity to spend the next sixteen months talking about impeaching you.
Not as popular with my caucus as a default, but I think they'd go for it. Not that it matters. I guess our work here is done.
It's going to damage our credit and currency immeasurably, but at least it saves us from making a difficult decision. See you later, Mister President.
Bye bye, Mister President. I feel just terrible about this...
John, hang behind for just a minute.
Are you going to yell at me again?
No, I just wanted to bum one of your cigarettes.
Oh, sure thing, Mister President. Here, take the whole pack.


  1. up Anne Rumnley's buttJuly 23, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    AH fock the TURTLE attacks again