Monday, April 27, 2009

Cantor releases proof of Obama's cheating

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor has made good on his promise to provide proof of President Obama's "flagrant cheating and shockingly unsportsmanlike conduct" on the golf course.

"Just take a look at that humongous golf bag," says the clearly incensed junior congressman. "It's no wonder he has to take a cart; no mortal caddie could hoist that bevy of clubs."

"No less an authority than the United States Golf Association states in rule 4-1 and rule 4-4 that a player may have no more than fourteen conforming clubs in his bag," fumes Cantor. "Obama not only has at least twenty-seven clubs, but also a baseball bat and what appears to be a weed whacker. Try telling me that doesn't give him one hell of an unfair advantage when he lands in the rough."

"The USGA penalty for exceeding the fourteen club maximum is two strokes. Per club. The penalty handed down by the American people is another matter altogether. Can the president be impeached for cheating? It would not be the first time."


  1. Hey Mark, FYI, there's a typo in the third word of the first sentence; there's an "m" missing.

  2. Or how to keep an idiot busy for five minutes.

    I'm only as good as my spellcheck, ichael.