Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wang Dang Doodle

The Senate GOP was in an ebullient mood today after hearing that highly disliked Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Spector would at long last be leaving the Republican Party and going over to the Democrats side where he rightfully belongs.

"That old thing? You want that old thing?" asked a gleeful Mitch McConnell, who relishes the thought of leading a tighter, more mobile posse. "I say sure, go ahead and take him. Knock yourself out. He was just getting in the way over here anyway, right Kay B?"

"Right you are," said Senator Hutchinson. "He smelled old, and to tell the truth, we'll never reach our goal of being a strictly regional party if we have to cater to liberal northern states like Pennsylvania. Arlen. Arlen. It sounds too much like fingernails on a blackboard."

Orin Hatch, grand old man from Utah, was equally psyched about the slimmer GOP minority. "Arlen? What the hell sort of name is Arlen, anyway? It sounds kind of like one of those wacky rap names, doesn't it Saxby?"

"Indeed it does, Orin," replied Senator Chambliss, "and we don't need any more funny names on our side of the aisle than we already have. And besides, if it wasn't for Spector's damnable compromising, I'm thinking that odious Stimulus bill would never have passed."

"Watch your tongue, Saxby," said Senator Bob 'Whatta' Corker. "Rush said we should always call it the Porkuls bill, and now that we're finally getting rid of Spector, we've got one less bozo to give us a hard time about using silly catch phrases."

"What's that, Phil Spector is leaving the GOP?" asked Thad Cochran, widely known as the only man in the Senate to be named Thad. "Well, the man produced some great hits in his time, but since he's already in prison I guess it's no big loss."

"Not Phil Spector, Thad, Arlen Spector," giggled Senator Crapo, a man who needs no first name. "Arlen Spector had no hits whatsoever, only misses."

"I guess I've had my share of misses," chimed in David Vitter, "but I've got three things Arlen Specter never had - class, dignity, and a big wangdangdoodle."

"I've got something better than that," shouted Jeff Sessions. "I've got Arlen's seat as the ranking minority member of the judiciary committee."

"Quite impressive," said Sam Brownback, "although hardly the equal of a big wangdangdoodle. Still, quite impressive indeed. Now grab your hats, folks, there's a party at Michael Steele's place. And make sure not to say anything about it to McCain."

Party at Steele's place!

Koko Taylor

No comments:

Post a Comment