Thursday, June 18, 2009

She's a rebel

Renegade Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman is prepared to strike yet another blow against the empire by publicly stating that she intends to refuse to answer all the questions on her 2010 census form.

"Hell no, I won't go," says the GOP Bad Girl. "I won't go through this sort of subjugation at the hands of a petty dictator and his ACORN minions, no matter what threats they may hurl my way. I've got a few hurling devices of my own."

ACORN, of course, is the insidious group of 'community organizers' notorious for putting Barack Obama, one of their own, into power through a combination of voter fraud and intimidation. Obama rewarded them for their duplicity by putting them in sole control of the 2010 census, a move which created over 400,000 high paying taxpayer-funded jobs. No one knows exactly what ACORN intend to do with America's valuable private data, but it is expected to be pure evil.

Besides, as Michele points out, filling out a census form is hard. "The questions have become very intricate, and very personal. My God, take a look at this form. What is your race? What is your age? What color panties are you wearing? Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

"I'm striking a blow for freedom. You can call me a rebel and I'll take that as a badge of honor. Let them send the Feds out and try to make me answer. They'll get my demographic data when they can pry it out of my cold dead fingers."

Bachman's show of bravado was slightly undercut when it was revealed that her husband Marcus does all the family paperwork.

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